HoLLa: Update on Life vol.10

so it’s been awhile since i posted a HOLLA update. i have been so busy with the holidays (and the downer aftermath), my weight loss blog, kids, bri, life in general, & trying to stay motivated on my quest to get fit!
it hasn’t been easy – ain’t even gonna lie!
but it’s been a good week nonetheless…
skylar has been a little crazy – but i think it’s a combo of the crazies leftover from xmas & just being a precocious 2 ½ year old little diva girl. (everyone told me how different girls are from boys – i am now coming to realize just how different they meant!)
(she looks SO big here… wowies!)
(sky could live on funyons –sadly)
(the many silly faces of skylar!)
all considering – she is still sucha good girl – she just has her moments – but don’t we all?

then on thursday this happened outta the blue…
(got the flu but still gorgeous as always)
sky got some sorta stomach bug & lemme tell ya it was no fun for any of us – especially her. add to the fact that the only thing this child eats faithfully is yogurt & the doctor said no dairy – life is just increasingly peachy keen… heh!
i feel like the world’s worst mama letting my daughter survive on pringles & ginger ale for the past two days but at least she is eating & drinking!

despite the flu invading our home & taking my poor little gal captive – there have been some happier moments this week.
at my weight watcher weigh-in yesterday i lost 2.8lbs bringing me to 26lbs lost total & i got this beauty…
my 25lb. charm to go with my 10% keychain & 16 week charm!
kinda silly but for us weight watcher junkies – this thing means the world! just like the little stickers we get @ meetings!

my journey since september 5th has truly been a transformation. tomorrow marks 90 days of consequetive exercise & i am eating vegan 99% (minus the eggs in holiday cookies) of the time. but i think the biggest change is that i am passionate about this & it has transcended into so many other facets of my life.
i want to be this passionate about EVERYTHING!
and it was so nice not to have *lose weight* at the top of my resolutions this year – i am already doing it!
finally!
i feel like i spent so much time trying to get HERE & it feels so freakin’ good to finally feel in control of my life & my body again!
i know i have said this before but…
life just gets better & better day by day!


and there ya have it dear bloggy peeps!
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, progress photos & exercise regimen?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.9

happy saturday all!

can i tell you how freakin’ glad i am that this past week is over?
seriously – i am so obviously not ready for the hustle & bustle of the *holiday season* because one week of two b-day parties, a dinner party, halloween, & pms nearly took me out.
sigh

but it’s a new week & i woke up with the ability to breathe outta both nostrils (praise be!) – so life is def lookin’ up!

so what’s new?
well i think i covered the major happenings with my bajillion of photos i posted throughout the week. although i did spare ya’ll on dumb supper photos – which was great!
(me on the way – testing out camera settings on myself – heh)
and to fill ya in – dumb supper is a dinner eaten in silence where you reverse the courses (dessert first, main course, then salad) in honor of your ancestors & those who have passed. it is held in the evening of the day of the dead (or all saints day – depending on your beliefs) when the veil between the living & the dead is at its thinnest.
(a fun spooky photo of us @ dinner – see the plates full of food – those are our offerings of food for our ancestors & those who have passed – you take a little bit from your plate for each course for the ancestor plate.)
we also had a séance after dinner which is always fun – if you’re into that sort of thing – which i so am!
we had some interesting voices come through via the ghost box & i got some amazing orb photos.

moving along…
i am still kickin’ it on the jillian michaels 30 day shred – can ya believe that today is day 27 & this coming tuesday i will be done (with this part at least) ??? it blows my mind how fast this all went – and fyi – this workout kicks ass & truly works!
(yup – me showing off my mini-muscle! may not look like much but it is more muscle than this chick has ever had & i am pretty stinkin’ proud of the definition!)

i didn’t lose this week on w8 watchers – but i didn’t gain either – so i consider that super success after the food-a-palooza that happened last week. seriously, i think i ate non-stop from saturday – wednesday!
tsk! tsk!

i have my prescrition evaluation on tuesday – yay (insert extreme sarcasm). i am tryin not to be a debbie downer about it all but it still pisses me right the fuck off. but maybe this experience will be different than the last? who knows? hence why i am tryin to be positive…

well folks… that’s all I got!
happy saturday & lotsa bloggy love! so happy to see some of my faves back to bloggin!!!

♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, and/or my quest to complete jillian michaels 30 day shred?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.8

once again i have let time lapse since writing... oops!
just too much on my plate & it seems like everyone in my house has passed around a pretty nasty flu bug to boot back & forth. today is the first day in a week that i feel semi-human.

so this past thursday i saw the new therapist & while i am trying really hard to keep an open mind about it all; it really amazes me that someone who has met me once -- for a little over an hour & basically got a quick synopsis of my 41 years (and i have lived a lot in my 41 years) -- can give me a *diagnosis*?
and a *diagnosis* that i am not sure i entirely agree with.
she has labeled me as having a *mood disorder* which is one miniscule step above bi-polar disorder.
ummm...
yeah i have my moments & in my past i have done so effed up stuff that could very easily be deemed as self-destructive but... i don't think my condition (whatever that may be) is as severe as she seems to think. nothing against anyone who is bi-polar as i am sure it is very misunderstood like all mental/emotional disorders are… but what the phuck?

but she has referred me to someone else to have a medicine evalutation to make sure i am on the right meds because she seems to think i am totally on the wrong meds & wants a second opinion.
sigh...
this is exactly where i don't wanna be.
flip-floppin between *professionals* who cannot decide what *disorder* i have & who wanna play medicine guinea pig with me.
nope not happenin!
but i will semi-play along. i will go to the referral and see what she has to say but i am not playing russian roulette with a bevy of meds that will do gawd knows what to me?
frig that noise!

and what irks me is that i thought i was on the right path with the wellbutrin? i thought this was a therapy session? not a mental evaluation!
have i mentioned how much i really distrust people in the mental health field before?!?!?!
grrrr… so irritating! but let’s move on!

weight watchers is goin great…
30 day shred is going amazing…
i am down 12.4 lbs total & feeling pretty damn good about that! i wanted to lose about 6 lbs a month & so far i am ahead of the game so that is a very good thing.
bri is great.
kids are great.
all is well… minus the snow we had over the weekend.
already? really?
ick! but there was a cool bday party to attend!
and i did run into two of my friends i havent seen in eons over the weekend – so all really is well! (the three redhead amigas ride again!)

and halloween cookies & dress-up always make life better as well!


and all the other random stuff in between...


because i most certainly cannot complain & despite what one random *therapist* says – i am very content with life & the path it is currently leading my on!

happy halloween peeps!
(you know i will be posting a buttload of photos from today at some point this week -- consider yourselves warned!)
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, and/or my quest to complete jillian michaels 30 day shred?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

which reminds me – go enter my first evah chunky goddess giveaway so you can win TWO jillian michaels shred dvds! because who doesn’t like free shit?!?!
and even if you have already entered – you can tweet the giveaway daily for additional entries!

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.7

I know I have totally been ignoring this blog – I sucketh, what can I say?

In my defense – I have had a lot of my plate lately.
• Defiant teenagers who are trying to either drive me to the brink of insanity or make me an alcoholic.
• An over-active precocious two year old who needs constant stimulation.
• Never-ending tedious stuff – laundry, dishes, grocery shopping.
• Trying to keep myself on track with Weight Watchers & working out – which is a HUGE priority for me.
• Making Brian & Cyn time – because he needs me as much as anyone else in my house. And I need him too of course!
• My social life which is coming back from the dead – funny how feeling good about yourself again can make you want to get back into the world.
• My spiritual side which I left dormant @ the wayside months ago – I have missed my candles, meditations, & spellwork. It grounds me & I need grounding!

I know there are others out in the world who probably have ten times the amount of things on their plates – but keep in mind that my plate has been so cracked & half-broken for so long with me being in the depths of depression & I am just now getting back to mending the plate & being able to juggle more than a few things without completely melting down!
So yay for that much at least.
Chaos is actually progress for me!!!

Speaking of progress – I see my new therapist next week.
I am trying to be positive – but ack! I haven’t had the best luck with therapy in the past.
Once had a therapist try to *save* me by telling me I needed Jesus in my life.
True effin’ story.
Can you believe that shit? If I wasn’t 20-something (oh yeah I have been messed up for a long time… heh) I probably would have reported her -- to where or whom – who knows?
Did I mention that I am trying to stay positive?

Okay let’s jump to another topic – because I am so obviously all over the place today.
Skylar has her library reading/play group every Wednesday & it is the one thing she looks forward to. And it is such a cute program – the librarian is wonderful & they do the cutest craft project at the end of story time.
Well this year there is a new kid in the group & normally I never refer to kiddos (other than my own of course – heh) to *spawn of satan* but if this child was a robot her (yes, it’s a little girl) name would be DESTRUCTOR!
And really it isn’t her fault – it is her dumbass mother’s who sits there while she tears up the play area, library, and reading room and says NOTHING. It is her who sits there while she literally lays on other children & terrorizes the two mothers who come with infants in tow and says NOTHING. It is her who sits there while the librarian asks the little demon girl to sit down over and over because she is disrupting the reading time & tears things right out of the librarian’s hands and says NOTHING.
Seriously I keep hoping Mute Mom & DESTRUCTOR won’t show – but sure as shit they are ALWAYS there.
And what do you do in this situation? Are you THAT parent who complains & puts the librarian in the position to have to *talk* to Mute Mom?
Parents who let their children be little buttheads just piss me off.
And it isn’t fair to the kids like my daughter who really want to enjoy the experience & interact.
Mute Mom sucks!

Moving along…
We are just NOW finally getting some fall weather.
Goddess Group ghost hunt happened last night but I had to miss it – car/ride issues.
So bummed.
I will get in on another ghost hunt because apparently they had sucha great time that they are planning another.

I have been doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred – on day 10 – and it is an ass-kicking killer workout. I highly recommend it!

Well to end this crazy post on a high note…
Skylar is NUTSO about La La Loopsy.
(Doncha l♥ve her shit – got it @ Kmart for $7!)

La La Loopsy was #1 on her Xmas list to Santa last year – and this year it is the La La Loopsy treehouse & bus.
Never enough La La Loopsy in Skylar’s world…

There ya have it – sorry this is sucha schiztoid post!

Happy HuMp DaY!
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, and/or my quest to complete jillian michaels 30 day shred?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol. 6

Hello Bloggy-wood!

Okay yeah I know I have been totally ignoring this blog – did I mention I know write two separate blogs now? Yeah, so much better in theory than reality.
Plus I was invited to join triberrr which I have been fuddling/fumbling around on that site a lot lately.
Oh and my new twitter addiction!
And let’s not forget weight watchers…
Working out five times a week (I am soooo rockin’ the gym thing lately!)
My photography – I shoot something every day no matter what or how horrid they turn out.
And all that other life stuff – kids, kids, kids, brian, laundry, cooking, and the occasional moment to decompress!

But life is sooooo freakin’ good!
It’s not perfect (never will be) but it’s GOOD!

I have been feeling MUCH better – especially since seeing my doc (lurve her) last week and expressing my concerns (feeling like I was regressing on the meds and all). She seems to think my progress is better than most and in hindsight – it is! I think I have high expectations but when I compare myself to where I was --- it’s an extreme difference.
And it is so hard to explain to people.
Tonight at Goddess Group I was asked why I am taking the wellbutrin and I completely stumbled with my answer? I think because I struggle with the correct way to explain depression?

I think most people believe depression is just what it sounds like – being depressed/sad/blue. And it is – but it is SO much more.
It is (for me at least)…
The inability to function normally – whatever your *normal* may be.
Not finding joy in things that used to bring you joy.
Feeling like you are fumbling in a daze through your day, your week, your life.
Wanting to lock yourself up away and becoming this anti-social creature your don’t even recognize.
Letting yourself go physically. Not caring about how you look to the point where bathing can become a chore.
To name a few…
And ALL of these things are the polar opposite of what I once was.

My doc also prescribed me trazodone to help me with my insomnia. (having clarity does have it’s downfall – sometimes I cannot get out of my own head because I am so filled with thoughts and ideas!)
I havent taken it…
Because I am not sure how I feel about it?
Plus I want to wait until the weekend when Bri is off in case I cannot wake up for Skylar.
She also set me up to speak with a therapist.
Gulp
I am not opposed to it – I probably could use an impartial person to vent to – but where in THE hell do I even begin?
I guess I will find out on the 27th @ my first appointment?

I am trying to keep positive about the whole process.
Trust the process – my new mantra!
I think it applies to so many things in my life right now.

So with that being said…
Lemme leave you with a few of my fave photos from the past week…
Because one bracelet is never enough…
Daddy & Sky
A tech geek is born – she l♥ves the ipod!
Hunter on his way to get his fancy duds for Homecoming…
*sigh*


Toodles!
♥cyn♥

Wanna know more about my journey and/or Weight Watchers?
Check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

peyton's 15th birfday!

celebrated peyton's 15th birthday today with family and my son's best friend.
presents...
din-din...
diet coke cupcakes (totally awesome check out my diet blog misadventures of a chunky goddess for the link to the recipe --so worth it)
and lotsa laughs.

a perfect party!

















happiest 15th birthday peyton! i ♥ u!!

HoLLa: Update on Life vol. 5

Happy Monday Blogdom!

So it’s been a few days since I wrote on here – been really busy with life, the whole weight watcher/gym thing, having margaritas, spending an entire day bickering/brawling with Bri (grrrrr!), being a mommy to a ridiculously energetic two year old and two teenagers & all while being completely fabulous (snicker).
Cause that’s how I roll ya know…

Okay I gotta few questions to toss out there…
1. Why is that there are xmas trees in Walmart already? Saw them with my own eyes yesterday. Skylar thought they were wonderous – I nearly puked.
2. Why do you always run into someone you haven’t seen in a bazillion years that one time you decide to make a quick dash to pick up milk looking like medusa in ratty(ish) yoga pants & flip flops?
3. Why do some people always seem to look a gift horse in the mouth? Seriously – you are being given something out of the kindness of someone’s heart & you are going to question and critique it? Ah-friggen-may-zing!
4. Why do *old* people feel compelled to show me their bodily issues? I love my grandmother – but I do NOT need to see that *foot thing* you got going on. Wish I was making this one up. Ew!
5. Why do some people not realize that their child is a menace to society and it is not a phase? You have possible serial killer on your hands & it should be addressed.
6. And finally… why is it that some people do not realize that the problem is them? If your family, friends, and co-workers ALL have issue with you – I am guessing it is you?
Any insight is greatly appreciated!

So a little boo-boo update:
Remember this?
Skylar vs. bannister – bannister wins!

Then it progressed to this…
Swollen & freakin’ me out because she actually look different. :)
Then a nice bruise… if bruises are your thing and all?
Finally this is where we are at today.
SO much better. Swelling gone – leaving a nice yellowish bruise.
But still a very sore subject. If I ask her what happened she does this weird eye blinky thing and then makes a fake cry. Obviously she just cannot speak of such things…

So to end on a good note: I start tarot class with Angela @ her shop this week!!!!OMGosh so excited.
I have been wanting to take this class since early this year – just with my job & life it never worked out. But now it does and I am making it a priority.
May sound silly to some? But I have always wanted to really learn how to read cards!

And finally – I think I am finally ready to have my tubes tied. We know we don’t want to have more babies – but choosing not to and being physically unable has been something I have oddly struggled with? I have been two times since Skylar was born to see my ob/gyn (a peach of a woman) about it and both times she told me I wasn’t ready.
I am ready now and with being out of work and Skylar not being quite so dependent on me – the time is right.
I am a bit leery about the procedure and all – any input out there?

Time to seize the day – we have had incredible weather here the past week or so – which is rumored to end this coming weekend. Gonna take Miss Sky outside and maybe to the park?
Toodles!
♥cyn♥