HoLLa: Update on Life vol.11

happy sunday ya’ll!

well things seem to be getting back to *normal* here at casa de goddess…
although the week started like this…
lots of jammies (lalaloopsy jammies i might add) & snuggies (my grandmother bought me the zebra snuggie for xmas & skylar LOVES it).
and letting my daughter eat whatever she wants – case in point; her beloved funyons!!!

but things got better – more smiles & less fussiness.
and lemme tell ya – miss skylar brought fussiness to a whole NEW level! even though she was on the mend she was definitely just worn down from being SO sick for a week. she spent one whole day crying, screaming, and throwing temper tantrums over everything from what to eat to what to wear. it was not the best day ever but we survived & thankfully she is back to eating pretty normally (for her at least as she is the pickiest eater ever), sleeping better, & her usual chipper self.
then yesterday we saw these @ our local wally world & seeing how skylar’s world revolves around lalaloopsy – we had to buy them! ($6.00 and oh-so-cute plus this mama doesn’t bake so it was a steal!)


happiness = eating a lalaloopsy cupcake!
ohhh & because miss thing refuses to get icing on her fingers she eats them like a dog… heh! yeah, it makes no sense to us either – but skylar is without a doubt one-of-a-kind!!

so yay for my little skylar rockets getting better & being her usual crazy daisy self!

on a side note:
the wedding plans are back on!
yeah i know i have said this before & i have been draggin’ my feet & all that jazz. i haven’t even mentioned it on this blog since LAST april – wow! i had even bought my dress! and finally i admitted the real reason i was stalling – wrote about it here on my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

well after dropping 26+ lbs. i can FINALLY not only get the dress over my ass but i can zip it up too! woohoo!
so yeah – i am a vain as hell but i want to feel & look my best on my special day.
and i am back into the *wedding plans* frame of mind – even though i COMPLETELY lack the bride gene. no dates have been set – i am still trying to digest the fact that I CAN FIT INTO MY DRESS!!!

my sons are pretty much mia most of the time. they have mutual friends (which i am SO happy about) so they are always off at this one or that one’s house. i can distinctly remember being their age & wanting to be anywhere but home – i guess it’s just a teenage thing? but i do insist that every tuesday & thursday night they are home for dinner & we have a SIT DOWN meal where we can all converse & interact as a family. they do it willingly & it’s one of the highlights of my week at least! and skylar’s – she loves her big brothers SO much!

i think that about sums up life as we know it…
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, progress photos & exercise regimen?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess. (warning: this blog does contain abundant profanity & a no hold’s bar look @ my journey!)

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.10

so it’s been awhile since i posted a HOLLA update. i have been so busy with the holidays (and the downer aftermath), my weight loss blog, kids, bri, life in general, & trying to stay motivated on my quest to get fit!
it hasn’t been easy – ain’t even gonna lie!
but it’s been a good week nonetheless…
skylar has been a little crazy – but i think it’s a combo of the crazies leftover from xmas & just being a precocious 2 ½ year old little diva girl. (everyone told me how different girls are from boys – i am now coming to realize just how different they meant!)
(she looks SO big here… wowies!)
(sky could live on funyons –sadly)
(the many silly faces of skylar!)
all considering – she is still sucha good girl – she just has her moments – but don’t we all?

then on thursday this happened outta the blue…
(got the flu but still gorgeous as always)
sky got some sorta stomach bug & lemme tell ya it was no fun for any of us – especially her. add to the fact that the only thing this child eats faithfully is yogurt & the doctor said no dairy – life is just increasingly peachy keen… heh!
i feel like the world’s worst mama letting my daughter survive on pringles & ginger ale for the past two days but at least she is eating & drinking!

despite the flu invading our home & taking my poor little gal captive – there have been some happier moments this week.
at my weight watcher weigh-in yesterday i lost 2.8lbs bringing me to 26lbs lost total & i got this beauty…
my 25lb. charm to go with my 10% keychain & 16 week charm!
kinda silly but for us weight watcher junkies – this thing means the world! just like the little stickers we get @ meetings!

my journey since september 5th has truly been a transformation. tomorrow marks 90 days of consequetive exercise & i am eating vegan 99% (minus the eggs in holiday cookies) of the time. but i think the biggest change is that i am passionate about this & it has transcended into so many other facets of my life.
i want to be this passionate about EVERYTHING!
and it was so nice not to have *lose weight* at the top of my resolutions this year – i am already doing it!
finally!
i feel like i spent so much time trying to get HERE & it feels so freakin’ good to finally feel in control of my life & my body again!
i know i have said this before but…
life just gets better & better day by day!


and there ya have it dear bloggy peeps!
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, progress photos & exercise regimen?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol. 7

just sharing some photos from the week…
we have had the strangest weather here in new england…
snow one week, 70 degree weather the next, and always a rain shower in between…








i also finished jillian michaels 30 day shred on tuesday. i did it for 30 days consequetively with no days off & upped my level every 10 days. it was indeed a challenge but has really changed my entire outlook on my weight loss journey.
i only lost about 4.4 lbs in the 30 days but i lost 13.5 inches all over so i am highly impressed with that!
i started ripped in 30 on wednesday & am fully committed to daily movement/exercise.

i saw the new therapist – liked her a lot & she encouraged me to give the other gal a shot.
okay okay…
she thinks i am on the right meds & that i am not bi-polar (coulda told ya that) & that i probably had post-partum after skylar that escalated into a full blow depression for two+ long torturous years.
obviously i have had bouts of depression – or funks as i always called them – but nothing like this past one. i just couldn’t dig myself out; hence why i sought help.
so i am staying on the same meds & i will flip-flop between the two therapists every other week. i am willing to see how it works out & am still keeping an open mind.

i feel better both mentally & physically than i have since my early 30s & that makes me a wee bit sad to admit – but it’s true.
if i have learned one thing from this it is this – do not doubt yourself; if you don’t feel *right* get help. once you dig yourself out & things become so clear you will realize that you were right all along & wasted too much time trying to tell yourself that you will feel better tomorrow.
depression sucks but it can be helped!

and there ya have it dear bloggy peeps!
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, 30 day shred, and/or my quest to complete jillian michaels ripped in 30?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.9

happy saturday all!

can i tell you how freakin’ glad i am that this past week is over?
seriously – i am so obviously not ready for the hustle & bustle of the *holiday season* because one week of two b-day parties, a dinner party, halloween, & pms nearly took me out.
sigh

but it’s a new week & i woke up with the ability to breathe outta both nostrils (praise be!) – so life is def lookin’ up!

so what’s new?
well i think i covered the major happenings with my bajillion of photos i posted throughout the week. although i did spare ya’ll on dumb supper photos – which was great!
(me on the way – testing out camera settings on myself – heh)
and to fill ya in – dumb supper is a dinner eaten in silence where you reverse the courses (dessert first, main course, then salad) in honor of your ancestors & those who have passed. it is held in the evening of the day of the dead (or all saints day – depending on your beliefs) when the veil between the living & the dead is at its thinnest.
(a fun spooky photo of us @ dinner – see the plates full of food – those are our offerings of food for our ancestors & those who have passed – you take a little bit from your plate for each course for the ancestor plate.)
we also had a séance after dinner which is always fun – if you’re into that sort of thing – which i so am!
we had some interesting voices come through via the ghost box & i got some amazing orb photos.

moving along…
i am still kickin’ it on the jillian michaels 30 day shred – can ya believe that today is day 27 & this coming tuesday i will be done (with this part at least) ??? it blows my mind how fast this all went – and fyi – this workout kicks ass & truly works!
(yup – me showing off my mini-muscle! may not look like much but it is more muscle than this chick has ever had & i am pretty stinkin’ proud of the definition!)

i didn’t lose this week on w8 watchers – but i didn’t gain either – so i consider that super success after the food-a-palooza that happened last week. seriously, i think i ate non-stop from saturday – wednesday!
tsk! tsk!

i have my prescrition evaluation on tuesday – yay (insert extreme sarcasm). i am tryin not to be a debbie downer about it all but it still pisses me right the fuck off. but maybe this experience will be different than the last? who knows? hence why i am tryin to be positive…

well folks… that’s all I got!
happy saturday & lotsa bloggy love! so happy to see some of my faves back to bloggin!!!

♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, and/or my quest to complete jillian michaels 30 day shred?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol. 6

Hello Bloggy-wood!

Okay yeah I know I have been totally ignoring this blog – did I mention I know write two separate blogs now? Yeah, so much better in theory than reality.
Plus I was invited to join triberrr which I have been fuddling/fumbling around on that site a lot lately.
Oh and my new twitter addiction!
And let’s not forget weight watchers…
Working out five times a week (I am soooo rockin’ the gym thing lately!)
My photography – I shoot something every day no matter what or how horrid they turn out.
And all that other life stuff – kids, kids, kids, brian, laundry, cooking, and the occasional moment to decompress!

But life is sooooo freakin’ good!
It’s not perfect (never will be) but it’s GOOD!

I have been feeling MUCH better – especially since seeing my doc (lurve her) last week and expressing my concerns (feeling like I was regressing on the meds and all). She seems to think my progress is better than most and in hindsight – it is! I think I have high expectations but when I compare myself to where I was --- it’s an extreme difference.
And it is so hard to explain to people.
Tonight at Goddess Group I was asked why I am taking the wellbutrin and I completely stumbled with my answer? I think because I struggle with the correct way to explain depression?

I think most people believe depression is just what it sounds like – being depressed/sad/blue. And it is – but it is SO much more.
It is (for me at least)…
The inability to function normally – whatever your *normal* may be.
Not finding joy in things that used to bring you joy.
Feeling like you are fumbling in a daze through your day, your week, your life.
Wanting to lock yourself up away and becoming this anti-social creature your don’t even recognize.
Letting yourself go physically. Not caring about how you look to the point where bathing can become a chore.
To name a few…
And ALL of these things are the polar opposite of what I once was.

My doc also prescribed me trazodone to help me with my insomnia. (having clarity does have it’s downfall – sometimes I cannot get out of my own head because I am so filled with thoughts and ideas!)
I havent taken it…
Because I am not sure how I feel about it?
Plus I want to wait until the weekend when Bri is off in case I cannot wake up for Skylar.
She also set me up to speak with a therapist.
Gulp
I am not opposed to it – I probably could use an impartial person to vent to – but where in THE hell do I even begin?
I guess I will find out on the 27th @ my first appointment?

I am trying to keep positive about the whole process.
Trust the process – my new mantra!
I think it applies to so many things in my life right now.

So with that being said…
Lemme leave you with a few of my fave photos from the past week…
Because one bracelet is never enough…
Daddy & Sky
A tech geek is born – she l♥ves the ipod!
Hunter on his way to get his fancy duds for Homecoming…
*sigh*


Toodles!
♥cyn♥

Wanna know more about my journey and/or Weight Watchers?
Check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol. 5

Happy Monday Blogdom!

So it’s been a few days since I wrote on here – been really busy with life, the whole weight watcher/gym thing, having margaritas, spending an entire day bickering/brawling with Bri (grrrrr!), being a mommy to a ridiculously energetic two year old and two teenagers & all while being completely fabulous (snicker).
Cause that’s how I roll ya know…

Okay I gotta few questions to toss out there…
1. Why is that there are xmas trees in Walmart already? Saw them with my own eyes yesterday. Skylar thought they were wonderous – I nearly puked.
2. Why do you always run into someone you haven’t seen in a bazillion years that one time you decide to make a quick dash to pick up milk looking like medusa in ratty(ish) yoga pants & flip flops?
3. Why do some people always seem to look a gift horse in the mouth? Seriously – you are being given something out of the kindness of someone’s heart & you are going to question and critique it? Ah-friggen-may-zing!
4. Why do *old* people feel compelled to show me their bodily issues? I love my grandmother – but I do NOT need to see that *foot thing* you got going on. Wish I was making this one up. Ew!
5. Why do some people not realize that their child is a menace to society and it is not a phase? You have possible serial killer on your hands & it should be addressed.
6. And finally… why is it that some people do not realize that the problem is them? If your family, friends, and co-workers ALL have issue with you – I am guessing it is you?
Any insight is greatly appreciated!

So a little boo-boo update:
Remember this?
Skylar vs. bannister – bannister wins!

Then it progressed to this…
Swollen & freakin’ me out because she actually look different. :)
Then a nice bruise… if bruises are your thing and all?
Finally this is where we are at today.
SO much better. Swelling gone – leaving a nice yellowish bruise.
But still a very sore subject. If I ask her what happened she does this weird eye blinky thing and then makes a fake cry. Obviously she just cannot speak of such things…

So to end on a good note: I start tarot class with Angela @ her shop this week!!!!OMGosh so excited.
I have been wanting to take this class since early this year – just with my job & life it never worked out. But now it does and I am making it a priority.
May sound silly to some? But I have always wanted to really learn how to read cards!

And finally – I think I am finally ready to have my tubes tied. We know we don’t want to have more babies – but choosing not to and being physically unable has been something I have oddly struggled with? I have been two times since Skylar was born to see my ob/gyn (a peach of a woman) about it and both times she told me I wasn’t ready.
I am ready now and with being out of work and Skylar not being quite so dependent on me – the time is right.
I am a bit leery about the procedure and all – any input out there?

Time to seize the day – we have had incredible weather here the past week or so – which is rumored to end this coming weekend. Gonna take Miss Sky outside and maybe to the park?
Toodles!
♥cyn♥

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.3

Happy Saturday Blogdom!

Well I dunno about the rest of the planet but I am feeling super chipper today! The sun is out – finally -- and my knee isn’t a throbbing ball of arthritic (I hate that I have that word in my life) hell.

Does the *I can squat and stoop again without screaming in agony* dance!

So I have been a busy bee the past few days…
I have mentioned the sense of clarity I have had since Wellbutrin entered my little world. And no it’s not a miracle cure – it just helps me not feel so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING. I can focus and actually be productive without feeling like I cant cope.
But I digress…

Anywho, part of my clarity has been acknowledging and weeding out toxic shit in my life. Hence quitting my shitty job and recently deleting every shit-stirring biznotch and blatant asswipe I know off every contact list and/or social media thingy-ma-bob I know.
So if you are truly stalking and reading this and realized I deleted ya off facebook – guess the cat is outta the bag in regards to what I truly think of your ass.. heh!

And ya know what – if feels good not having that negativity looming.
And that is all I have to say about that as I know damn well that energy I devote to this only fuels their energy and trust me – these fools don’t need fuel.
So moving along…

In my clean sweep I also deleted my old biz stuff – it wasn’t going where I wanted and had some negative energy fo sho’ surrounding it. So it had to go.
But no worries – I got other stuff in the mix and I have not given up the dream totally.

I also have been completetly dedicated to getting back on Weight Watchers and hitting the gym this week. Successfully I might add! I even created another separate blog to solely track weight/diet/health/fitness stuff.
It’s more for me than anything – but c’mon we all know I love bloggin’ – so it’s truly not putting me out. And I really feel like having one more source of accountability can only help because by golly I wanna do this shit already!

Wanna check it out? Well, then click my button below! :smirk:

What? Like I am not chunky or a goddess?
:blink blink:
And if ya wanna follow along that would be super-spiffy!

I am pretty much in love with my new blog – almost as much as this blog – but nothing will ever replace this baby!
Enough blatant self-promotion…

So yesterday Bri, Sky and I (that rhymes – ha!) went to Wal-Mart to buy the essentials…
• Diapers
• Tampons
• Milk
• Yogurt
• Hummus
• Crystal light
• Coffee

I know most peeps dog Wally World but I have to tell ya – other than the fact that it is virtually impossibly to leave there without spending AT LEAST fitty bucks – I heart you Wal-Mart!

I mean c’mon – where else can you let your kid ride like three bikes and a Disney Princess Jeep without one salesperson batting an eye or giving a frig?

Miss Sky will be getting a bike this spring – can ya believe she is only two and totally surpassed the tricycle and gravitated right to the *big girl* two-wheeled training bike?
I mean who wouldn’t when your choices are kickass Hello Kitty, Barbie, or Princess’????

Her Daddy rocks – he *rode* her all over the toy aisles with three bikes AND a Jeep!

Lovin’ a Jeep just like her Daddy!

Then we hit the Wally World Arcade – which equates a tiny corner at the front of the store designed to suck up every dollar bill and/or quarter you own.

Every girl should ride a life-sized Pumba that plays *Hakuna Matata* -- just sayin’!

(How many of ya will be partaking in the re-release of The Lion King in 3D?)

And the crème de la crème – massage chairs.
Daddy gets a much needed massage and Sky rests her weary tush!

Then last night Skylar asked to wear my dress for the first time ever – that was one of my most favorite things to do as a kid – as this was WAY before they made *dress-up* clothes like they do now. I had to pretend I was Cinderella in my Mother’s old 70’s inspired polyester crap thank you very much…
But I digress…
Here she is – lovely aye?

Here I am… (take a month or so ago)not-quite-as-cute.


Let’s go back to her!

So stinkin’ cute!

Well there ya have it…
All that is fit to be told or at least blogged!

This shall be a weekend of relaxation – minus some gym time and a nail fill that is!
Happy! Happy!

♥cyn♥

Oh yeah – anyone ever seen a hop that is dedicated solely to diet/fitness/health blogs? Just curious…
Thanks!