HoLLa: Update on Life vol.7

I know I have totally been ignoring this blog – I sucketh, what can I say?

In my defense – I have had a lot of my plate lately.
• Defiant teenagers who are trying to either drive me to the brink of insanity or make me an alcoholic.
• An over-active precocious two year old who needs constant stimulation.
• Never-ending tedious stuff – laundry, dishes, grocery shopping.
• Trying to keep myself on track with Weight Watchers & working out – which is a HUGE priority for me.
• Making Brian & Cyn time – because he needs me as much as anyone else in my house. And I need him too of course!
• My social life which is coming back from the dead – funny how feeling good about yourself again can make you want to get back into the world.
• My spiritual side which I left dormant @ the wayside months ago – I have missed my candles, meditations, & spellwork. It grounds me & I need grounding!

I know there are others out in the world who probably have ten times the amount of things on their plates – but keep in mind that my plate has been so cracked & half-broken for so long with me being in the depths of depression & I am just now getting back to mending the plate & being able to juggle more than a few things without completely melting down!
So yay for that much at least.
Chaos is actually progress for me!!!

Speaking of progress – I see my new therapist next week.
I am trying to be positive – but ack! I haven’t had the best luck with therapy in the past.
Once had a therapist try to *save* me by telling me I needed Jesus in my life.
True effin’ story.
Can you believe that shit? If I wasn’t 20-something (oh yeah I have been messed up for a long time… heh) I probably would have reported her -- to where or whom – who knows?
Did I mention that I am trying to stay positive?

Okay let’s jump to another topic – because I am so obviously all over the place today.
Skylar has her library reading/play group every Wednesday & it is the one thing she looks forward to. And it is such a cute program – the librarian is wonderful & they do the cutest craft project at the end of story time.
Well this year there is a new kid in the group & normally I never refer to kiddos (other than my own of course – heh) to *spawn of satan* but if this child was a robot her (yes, it’s a little girl) name would be DESTRUCTOR!
And really it isn’t her fault – it is her dumbass mother’s who sits there while she tears up the play area, library, and reading room and says NOTHING. It is her who sits there while she literally lays on other children & terrorizes the two mothers who come with infants in tow and says NOTHING. It is her who sits there while the librarian asks the little demon girl to sit down over and over because she is disrupting the reading time & tears things right out of the librarian’s hands and says NOTHING.
Seriously I keep hoping Mute Mom & DESTRUCTOR won’t show – but sure as shit they are ALWAYS there.
And what do you do in this situation? Are you THAT parent who complains & puts the librarian in the position to have to *talk* to Mute Mom?
Parents who let their children be little buttheads just piss me off.
And it isn’t fair to the kids like my daughter who really want to enjoy the experience & interact.
Mute Mom sucks!

Moving along…
We are just NOW finally getting some fall weather.
Goddess Group ghost hunt happened last night but I had to miss it – car/ride issues.
So bummed.
I will get in on another ghost hunt because apparently they had sucha great time that they are planning another.

I have been doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred – on day 10 – and it is an ass-kicking killer workout. I highly recommend it!

Well to end this crazy post on a high note…
Skylar is NUTSO about La La Loopsy.
(Doncha l♥ve her shit – got it @ Kmart for $7!)

La La Loopsy was #1 on her Xmas list to Santa last year – and this year it is the La La Loopsy treehouse & bus.
Never enough La La Loopsy in Skylar’s world…

There ya have it – sorry this is sucha schiztoid post!

Happy HuMp DaY!
♥cyn♥

wanna know more about my weight loss journey, weight watchers, and/or my quest to complete jillian michaels 30 day shred?
check out my diet blog -- misadventures of a chunky goddess.

HoLLa: Update on Life vol. 5

Happy Monday Blogdom!

So it’s been a few days since I wrote on here – been really busy with life, the whole weight watcher/gym thing, having margaritas, spending an entire day bickering/brawling with Bri (grrrrr!), being a mommy to a ridiculously energetic two year old and two teenagers & all while being completely fabulous (snicker).
Cause that’s how I roll ya know…

Okay I gotta few questions to toss out there…
1. Why is that there are xmas trees in Walmart already? Saw them with my own eyes yesterday. Skylar thought they were wonderous – I nearly puked.
2. Why do you always run into someone you haven’t seen in a bazillion years that one time you decide to make a quick dash to pick up milk looking like medusa in ratty(ish) yoga pants & flip flops?
3. Why do some people always seem to look a gift horse in the mouth? Seriously – you are being given something out of the kindness of someone’s heart & you are going to question and critique it? Ah-friggen-may-zing!
4. Why do *old* people feel compelled to show me their bodily issues? I love my grandmother – but I do NOT need to see that *foot thing* you got going on. Wish I was making this one up. Ew!
5. Why do some people not realize that their child is a menace to society and it is not a phase? You have possible serial killer on your hands & it should be addressed.
6. And finally… why is it that some people do not realize that the problem is them? If your family, friends, and co-workers ALL have issue with you – I am guessing it is you?
Any insight is greatly appreciated!

So a little boo-boo update:
Remember this?
Skylar vs. bannister – bannister wins!

Then it progressed to this…
Swollen & freakin’ me out because she actually look different. :)
Then a nice bruise… if bruises are your thing and all?
Finally this is where we are at today.
SO much better. Swelling gone – leaving a nice yellowish bruise.
But still a very sore subject. If I ask her what happened she does this weird eye blinky thing and then makes a fake cry. Obviously she just cannot speak of such things…

So to end on a good note: I start tarot class with Angela @ her shop this week!!!!OMGosh so excited.
I have been wanting to take this class since early this year – just with my job & life it never worked out. But now it does and I am making it a priority.
May sound silly to some? But I have always wanted to really learn how to read cards!

And finally – I think I am finally ready to have my tubes tied. We know we don’t want to have more babies – but choosing not to and being physically unable has been something I have oddly struggled with? I have been two times since Skylar was born to see my ob/gyn (a peach of a woman) about it and both times she told me I wasn’t ready.
I am ready now and with being out of work and Skylar not being quite so dependent on me – the time is right.
I am a bit leery about the procedure and all – any input out there?

Time to seize the day – we have had incredible weather here the past week or so – which is rumored to end this coming weekend. Gonna take Miss Sky outside and maybe to the park?
Toodles!
♥cyn♥

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.3

Happy Saturday Blogdom!

Well I dunno about the rest of the planet but I am feeling super chipper today! The sun is out – finally -- and my knee isn’t a throbbing ball of arthritic (I hate that I have that word in my life) hell.

Does the *I can squat and stoop again without screaming in agony* dance!

So I have been a busy bee the past few days…
I have mentioned the sense of clarity I have had since Wellbutrin entered my little world. And no it’s not a miracle cure – it just helps me not feel so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING. I can focus and actually be productive without feeling like I cant cope.
But I digress…

Anywho, part of my clarity has been acknowledging and weeding out toxic shit in my life. Hence quitting my shitty job and recently deleting every shit-stirring biznotch and blatant asswipe I know off every contact list and/or social media thingy-ma-bob I know.
So if you are truly stalking and reading this and realized I deleted ya off facebook – guess the cat is outta the bag in regards to what I truly think of your ass.. heh!

And ya know what – if feels good not having that negativity looming.
And that is all I have to say about that as I know damn well that energy I devote to this only fuels their energy and trust me – these fools don’t need fuel.
So moving along…

In my clean sweep I also deleted my old biz stuff – it wasn’t going where I wanted and had some negative energy fo sho’ surrounding it. So it had to go.
But no worries – I got other stuff in the mix and I have not given up the dream totally.

I also have been completetly dedicated to getting back on Weight Watchers and hitting the gym this week. Successfully I might add! I even created another separate blog to solely track weight/diet/health/fitness stuff.
It’s more for me than anything – but c’mon we all know I love bloggin’ – so it’s truly not putting me out. And I really feel like having one more source of accountability can only help because by golly I wanna do this shit already!

Wanna check it out? Well, then click my button below! :smirk:

What? Like I am not chunky or a goddess?
:blink blink:
And if ya wanna follow along that would be super-spiffy!

I am pretty much in love with my new blog – almost as much as this blog – but nothing will ever replace this baby!
Enough blatant self-promotion…

So yesterday Bri, Sky and I (that rhymes – ha!) went to Wal-Mart to buy the essentials…
• Diapers
• Tampons
• Milk
• Yogurt
• Hummus
• Crystal light
• Coffee

I know most peeps dog Wally World but I have to tell ya – other than the fact that it is virtually impossibly to leave there without spending AT LEAST fitty bucks – I heart you Wal-Mart!

I mean c’mon – where else can you let your kid ride like three bikes and a Disney Princess Jeep without one salesperson batting an eye or giving a frig?

Miss Sky will be getting a bike this spring – can ya believe she is only two and totally surpassed the tricycle and gravitated right to the *big girl* two-wheeled training bike?
I mean who wouldn’t when your choices are kickass Hello Kitty, Barbie, or Princess’????

Her Daddy rocks – he *rode* her all over the toy aisles with three bikes AND a Jeep!

Lovin’ a Jeep just like her Daddy!

Then we hit the Wally World Arcade – which equates a tiny corner at the front of the store designed to suck up every dollar bill and/or quarter you own.

Every girl should ride a life-sized Pumba that plays *Hakuna Matata* -- just sayin’!

(How many of ya will be partaking in the re-release of The Lion King in 3D?)

And the crème de la crème – massage chairs.
Daddy gets a much needed massage and Sky rests her weary tush!

Then last night Skylar asked to wear my dress for the first time ever – that was one of my most favorite things to do as a kid – as this was WAY before they made *dress-up* clothes like they do now. I had to pretend I was Cinderella in my Mother’s old 70’s inspired polyester crap thank you very much…
But I digress…
Here she is – lovely aye?

Here I am… (take a month or so ago)not-quite-as-cute.


Let’s go back to her!

So stinkin’ cute!

Well there ya have it…
All that is fit to be told or at least blogged!

This shall be a weekend of relaxation – minus some gym time and a nail fill that is!
Happy! Happy!

♥cyn♥

Oh yeah – anyone ever seen a hop that is dedicated solely to diet/fitness/health blogs? Just curious…
Thanks!

HoLLa: Update on Life vol.2

Happy Labor Day Blogdom!

Mine felt like actual labor – thanking you PMS – NOT!
Anywho, let’s not start this post with bitchin’ and talk of female bits– I have plenty time left for that later on in the post… heh!

But at least we got some pool time in as it will be closed on Wednesday – always a sad day for me as I am part fish and sucha summer gal.


So what’s new?
Well…

I rejoined Weight Watchers for the 3rd and hopefully final time.
I got all nostalgic with my blog turning the big ONE and started reading back on old posts. It really resonated with me that I was most content on WW and doing SO good. Hell I was even RUNNING a mile or so non-stop!
I bet I couldn’t run 50 feet right now if you held a gun to my head. But I digress…

I let a lot of life stuff get in my way – my shitty ex-job, money stuff, holidays, basic stress – and decided I could do the weight loss thing on my own. Yeah ask me how that worked out?
I have put back on about 13lbs (out of 22lbslost total) from my lowest point on WW last year – boo hiss!
Heck – I have put 6lbs on in six weeks – which is just wrong, wrong, wrong!!!

So I began to question why I was doing this alone and painfully struggling which leads to frustration and failure???
Brian agreed that I was happier on WW so I bit the bullet, signed the dotted line, and am now a bonabide paying WW Member again.

I need the plan, the tracking, the PointsPlus system, the accountability that comes from weekly weigh-in’s and meetings, and I need the support from my meetings, leader, and the online WW community!
Some of you who read my drivel here are from the WW site – xxoo!

And I am stoked to be back – and I haven’t been stoked about *dieting* in a LONG time! I have my gym membership too – something I have never had on any of my Weight Watcher Journeys – so I can only assume that I will have success. I have always had success on WW – but now I have better tools and I am in such a better place in my mind, body, and soul! (Thank you admittance and Wellbutrin!)

I put a tab up above to track WW along with a few others – I was bored the other night while everyone slept and snored. I have felt like changing my blog up a bit – not sure what will stay or go yet? Just testing the waters a bit. I mean do I really need more than five tabs?

In really good news:
Goddess Group resumes tomorrow night after summer hiatus!
YAY!!!

I need my group, my fellow Goddesses, and our girlie-pow-wow time! Not to mention that I have let my spirtual work REALLY slack and I miss it. (Also something I realized whilst reflecting through my blog the other night.)
I haven’t lit a candle, said a prayer, casted a spell, or ANYTHING magical for that matter in longer than I can remember – tsk tsk!
I plan on fixing that this week.

So while I am sad to see summer end – fall is bringing some really great things my way!
Coolio!

Oh and one final thing – I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it but I said screw it – it needs to be said!

Apparently saying how you feel and/or using a few carefully placed swear words can cause you to lose followers??
To each their own but sorry, that's lame.
If I stopped reading and/or following every blog that didn't conform to my opinions and everything I believe in I would be one lonely FUCKER (ooops there goes two more followers) in the blog-o-sphere.
Oh well – love me or leave me – literally!
*heh*

I love having followers – I mean that’s at least part of the reason why we blog right? And I jumped on the *hop til you drop* bandwagon and that is how I gained probably 80% of my followers. In hindsight – I would have done that differently. I would rather have peeps who WANT to read my blog that just a high number of people who I guarantee most never set an eye on what I post. Granted that goes both ways and if there was some way to remedy that – I would.
Oh well live and learn.

Now I do the hops I really want and only follow blogs I enjoy reading.
You lucky bloggers you… lol!
I suppose the same goes for everyone else?

And ya know -- if I am not your cup of tea, by all means don't read. But hopefully not because we don't share the same opinions.

Ya know what they say about opinions after all...

xxoo!
♥cyn♥

Weirdly Perfect

Today was weirdly perfect...
Especially for being the day before a hurricane and everyone in a panic to get out for provisions.
(for some that could be milk, bread, and batteries, and for others than may entail booze -- just sayin')

But getting back to my weirdly perfect day...

I got to sleep in late; such a treat and rarity!
I got my nails done and am madly in love with the color -- OPI black cherry chutney just so ya know.
I FINALLY made it to the gym after WEEKS (maybe even months) without stepping a toe in there.
I stopped by Angela's shop for the first time since Goddess Group went on summer break -- and I scored some A-Mazing Oya oil made with love and all things powerful, witchy, and Goddessy.
(Tomorrow I will be conjuring up some magic...)
I got mega kisses, hugs, and *I missed you Mommy* from Skylar when I got home from my two hour jaunt to the nail salon and gym.
I had some killer pizza, watched UFC, and had cheap wine with Brian!

Does this count as a date?
In our world, definitely yes!
*heh*

As I said... weirdly perfect!

Here are some photos of my neck of the woods batting down the hatches for Miss Irene.
I pray she spares us her total wrath...

The sky about midday when the rain began...



Skylar's backyard kingdom fastened down and ready to ride out the storm!

Wonder if Dunkin' will be open tomorrow... I am guessing yes! Rhode Islander's without their coffee is far worse than a storm!

Sand bags everywhere!


Local fire departments prepare...


My gym -- ready to weather the storm but determined to stay open!
Did ya know that Planet Fitness is offering their shower and locker room facilities to anyone displaced or in need during Hurrican Irene? Even non-members!

Angela's shop!
How awesome is this???
Stay safe blogdom!
♥cyn♥

HoLLa: Update on Life

I have been attempting to write something since about Monday – obviously failing miserably as I have yet to post – but today I am determined to FINALLY get something on my blog!

So what’s new blogdom?

Well…
Hunter got home safe and sound from his travels yesterday evening. He had a great time but has decided that *country living* is not for him and he has a new-found respect for living in Rhode Island where everything is SO close.
Indeed!

Can you believe the kids go back to school on Tuesday?

In other news…

I quit my job.

I was offered the choice to transfer to another studio and intially I thought that would work, but the more I digested the whole situation, the more I decided that I needed to completely break ties.
Ultimately it came down to doing what was best for myself.

And yes, there is SO much more I could say about the situation, but I choose to let it lay where it lies and move on.

Now I am basically putting my resume out there and focusing on the belief that all of this happened for a reason and I am meant to be somewhere else doing something else.

I LOVE photography and it IS a true passion of mine –- but retail photography is a whole other animal and I would think long and hard before returning to it.
I wish I had the spare funds to just buy the equipment I need and finally get my own biz underway…
Someday I WILL be living that dream!

And yeah the potential financial crunch of up and quitting my job is a wee bit scary.
Just when Brian finally gets his promotion and things are looking up I have job issues. Sometimes it feels like we will never get a break? But I keep telling myself that all of this is for a reason…
Not sure just yet what the reason is, but I insist on having a positive attitude and hope!

Moving along…

So I haven’t written about my diet and/or exercise in eons and well, basically that is because it has taken a backseat to everything else going on in my life.

I put my focus on getting myself better and getting a hold of the depression – so my weight loss journey needed to be put on a short hiatus.
I have to get better from the inside out after all…

But as of Monday I am back on track and happy to say that even despite completely throwing diet caution to the wind for a month or better I only regained about 1.5 lbs. – shocking I know!

I am sad to say that I completely fell of the vegan and even the vegetarian wagon…
I made it four months without one bite of meat and just caved for a hamburger on the grill and went downhill from there…
Not very proud of my lack of self-control but I am proud that I intially vowed to go vegetarian for 30 days and far surpassed that goal. I am not a total carnivore again – but I have partaken and certainly cannot call myself a vegetarian.
Maybe in time I will go back to eating vegetarian? But vegan was just too restricted and not right for me.

Right now my goals are –
• Eat healthy -- less processed garbage and more whole/clean foods.
• Exercise – gym, walking, and finally CONQUERING The 30 Day Shred.


Also NO OBSESSING over dieting, food, weight, the scale and all of that stuff because obsessing over it does the polar opposite of what I am trying to achieve.
And in all honesty -- I am friggen sick of feeling bad about myself and inadequate because I am not at a certain weight.
That is just utter crappola.

Until recently I have NEVER felt overly inadequate in ANY aspect of my life – matter of fact I felt QUITE adequate and screw anyone who thought otherwise.
And that is the attitude I am slowly regaining.

Maybe it’s the new meds?
They have given me this intense sense of clarity and so much of what bothered me before is slowly being weeded out of my life.
I feel like old kickass, take no crap, rockin it no matter what ME again.
And it feels good to be that gal again because she wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought she was.

And that dear blog-o-sphere is all that is fit to be told!
Well other than this...

*snicker*
cyn

THinGs I am L♥VIN' Thursday

HaPPy L♥VEfest!

OMGosh what a crazy week it has been! Seriously I still have to look at the calendar to know what day it is…
Please tell me I am NOT the only one.

Anywho…

I have to start the L♥Vedom with my new workout/walking partner – my 14 (soon-to-be 15) year old son Peyton.

My sweet kiddo deserves a medal for being so determined to get healthy that he is willing to workout with his old Mom. But he has in fact agreed to do the 30 Day Shred (I started over at Day One yesterday to do it with him) and to walk with me as well as hit the gym when the time comes.
GO PEYTON!
(I am so stinkin’ proud of him!!!)

Getting his walk on…


Let’s continue with some amazing features from a couple of my fellow KICKASS bloggers…






I have posted items from Lesley (of Fabulously Flawed fame) before – because – well she rocks – enough said. But this par-tay she is hosting EVERY Thursday is just coolio and makes me SO wish I was the crafty sort. I do covet it all – check her out!








Destiny aka ★Rockin’ Mama ★ & her multi-media hop – I love one-stop-hopping – cause I am lazy as doo-dah. Well not really, but kinda.
*smirk*
Anywho – her blog is fun and her current 10 Days of BS challenge is one I am participating in and L♥Vin’!

L♥VE this little girl’s room – and look – it’s already monogrammed for Skylar! *heh*

This FABULOUS room was made possible by feltsocute via tip junkie. I L♥VE her – check out her Facebook page as well – I L♥VE the daily feeds!

L♥VE my new bamboo plant!

Believed to bring prosperity – I will keep ya updated – as it has yet to happen!

Oddly enough I am L♥Vin Lauren Conrad’s rainbow hair…

It’s fun and if I were a wee bit (okay A LOT) younger I would so rock this look ALL summerlong!

L♥VE L♥VE L♥VE this trend!

Talk about channeling your inner Wonder Woman!

L♥VE shoulder tatts…

Must.have.one.soon!

L♥VE potty training!

Okay blatant lie – but I do L♥VE my darling Skylar and how hard she is trying. She had it nailed and decided yesterday this whole potty thing just wasn’t for her.
Who am I to tell her otherwise?
So we give it some time and try again soon!

Last but not least...
I L♥VE Brian…

My soulmate and the best Daddy I have ever known.
You are wonderful!

There ya have it -- and I promise to be a better blogger -- holidays totally screw me up!

xxoo
♥cyn♥