Sunday, June 26, 2011
HoLLa: Weight Loss Update
So let’s get down to biz…
On Friday’s weigh-in I was up .4 lbs.
No, I am not happy about it…
And I am wicked frustrated…
But I know what I did right and what I did wrong and obviously I wasn’t on task last week (again).
What I did right…
I did stick to my vegetarian diet -- I slacked on being a diligent vegan with some pizza again. (Ugh!)
What I did wrong…
I didn’t go the gym ONCE last week.
I didn’t track my food ONCE.
I didn’t watch my portions – which means I overate.
I actually had two evenings where I was in physical pain for eating too much. And honestly – I thought I was so over that?
But I think I am doing some *emotional eating* lately.
Work has been stressful.
Skylar has been VERY demanding and had one day this week where I literally looked at her and said, “who are you???”.
And Brian and I have let all the *life stuff* get to us which equates to bickering. And I hate when we use each other as an emotional punching bag. So uncool!
I suppose considering how *wrong* my week went I should be happy that all I gained was .4lbs!
But ack – I am going in the wrong dang direction!!!
All I can do is recognize my mistakes, learn from them, and move on!
So this week I will regroup…
I will track my food.
Go to the gym at least three times. (Already made it once!)
And make a conscious effort to maintain my vegan diet!
I was hoping I was at a point in my life where I could just do this without having to track food and be so *in the moment* where dieting and weight loss are concerned. But obviuosly I am just not ready for that?
And I need to adjust myself to the fact that all of this may never become second nature to me…
I know it sounds like I am being maybe a wee bit hard on myself – but I feel like I am never going to get past this weight? A year ago I did Weight Watchers faithfully. I tracked, counted points, and attended my weekly meetings and weigh-in. I did AMAZING the first two months – losing weight consistantly and I was feeling superb. Then I just stopped? I kept doing the things I had been doing and never seemed to get past the plateu? And here I am again at that same weight and struggling? I cannot figure out what it is about this point in my weight loss that stumps me?
I have lost weight before.
I lost 55lbs in 2008 on Weight Watchers and looked better at age 38 than I did at age 28! So I know what to do and that it can be done.
I dunno if it’s an age thing?
Or the fact that I had a baby (Miss Skylar) since then?
Or the fact that I no longer am a smoker? I quit a 20+ year habit when I prego with Skylar and I never went back.
And yeah – that’s sort of a cop-out and I would NEVER go back to smoking – but it is a proven fact that a 25lb. weight gain is normal when you quit a lifelong smoking habit. And oddly this weight I cannot surpass it my pre-pregnancy weight plus 25lbs!?!?!
Grrrr… so aggrevating!
I am not asking to be a SuperModel or a size 2.
I want to be at a healthy weight and BMI – the highest point on the scale for someone my age and height even.
I want to feel comfy in my own skin and in my clothes again!
I don’t think that is too much to ask…
And more than anything – I want to lead by example.
I want to show my children that by living a healthy lifestyle that you can maintain a healthy weight and live a quality life well into the later years of your life!
I am not saying they need to go vegan (although that would be nice) but I want them to be conscious of what they do and put into their bodies.
I just do the best I can…
My intentions are nothing but the absolute best and my beliefs teach me that putting out good intentions is the first step to attaining what you want…
This week WILL be a better week!