Sunday, June 26, 2011

HoLLa: Weight Loss Update


So let’s get down to biz…
On Friday’s weigh-in I was up .4 lbs.
Boo Hiss!
No, I am not happy about it…
And I am wicked frustrated…
But I know what I did right and what I did wrong and obviously I wasn’t on task last week (again).

What I did right…
I did stick to my vegetarian diet -- I slacked on being a diligent vegan with some pizza again. (Ugh!)

What I did wrong…
I didn’t go the gym ONCE last week.
I didn’t track my food ONCE.
I didn’t watch my portions – which means I overate.

I actually had two evenings where I was in physical pain for eating too much. And honestly – I thought I was so over that?
But I think I am doing some *emotional eating* lately.
Work has been stressful.
Skylar has been VERY demanding and had one day this week where I literally looked at her and said, “who are you???”.
And Brian and I have let all the *life stuff* get to us which equates to bickering. And I hate when we use each other as an emotional punching bag. So uncool!

I suppose considering how *wrong* my week went I should be happy that all I gained was .4lbs!

But ack – I am going in the wrong dang direction!!!

All I can do is recognize my mistakes, learn from them, and move on!

So this week I will regroup…
I will track my food.
Measure portions.
Go to the gym at least three times. (Already made it once!)
And make a conscious effort to maintain my vegan diet!

I was hoping I was at a point in my life where I could just do this without having to track food and be so *in the moment* where dieting and weight loss are concerned. But obviuosly I am just not ready for that?
And I need to adjust myself to the fact that all of this may never become second nature to me…

I know it sounds like I am being maybe a wee bit hard on myself – but I feel like I am never going to get past this weight? A year ago I did Weight Watchers faithfully. I tracked, counted points, and attended my weekly meetings and weigh-in. I did AMAZING the first two months – losing weight consistantly and I was feeling superb. Then I just stopped? I kept doing the things I had been doing and never seemed to get past the plateu? And here I am again at that same weight and struggling? I cannot figure out what it is about this point in my weight loss that stumps me?
I have lost weight before.
I lost 55lbs in 2008 on Weight Watchers and looked better at age 38 than I did at age 28! So I know what to do and that it can be done.

I dunno if it’s an age thing?
Or the fact that I had a baby (Miss Skylar) since then?
Or the fact that I no longer am a smoker? I quit a 20+ year habit when I prego with Skylar and I never went back.
And yeah – that’s sort of a cop-out and I would NEVER go back to smoking – but it is a proven fact that a 25lb. weight gain is normal when you quit a lifelong smoking habit. And oddly this weight I cannot surpass it my pre-pregnancy weight plus 25lbs!?!?!
Grrrr… so aggrevating!

I am not asking to be a SuperModel or a size 2.
I want to be at a healthy weight and BMI – the highest point on the scale for someone my age and height even.
I want to feel comfy in my own skin and in my clothes again!
I don’t think that is too much to ask…

And more than anything – I want to lead by example.
I want to show my children that by living a healthy lifestyle that you can maintain a healthy weight and live a quality life well into the later years of your life!
I am not saying they need to go vegan (although that would be nice) but I want them to be conscious of what they do and put into their bodies.

I just do the best I can…
My intentions are nothing but the absolute best and my beliefs teach me that putting out good intentions is the first step to attaining what you want…

This week WILL be a better week!


  1. If you were here, we could be diet partners, it's always easier to do things when you have a "gym buddy" or "diet partner". I found that when we had our gym membership, the only time I would ever go, is if someone else went with me. I hate doing things alone, especially if its' good for me. I, like you, want to lead by example, and have failed miserably, so I've just explained to my kids, that whole "do as I say, not as I do" thing. So far only the youngest (17) has caught on, and only by a little bit. I'm hoping that now that the weather is nice, it will motivate me again to get my ass outside and walk my ass of, litterally!

  2. the smoking thing is not a cop out. I used to smoke and it was easier to lose weight then because it's a natural appetite suppressant.
    You're doing great. I'm at the heaviest weight, right now, that I've ever been. I lost 20 pounds in the beginning of the year on WW only to put it back on over the last few months plus 5 pounds more.
    Just acknowledging that you can't " be in the moment " is amazing. You need help and support. I'll cheer you on, sweetie!

  3. Ah... The terrible twos. You'll adjust to Skylar's new attitude and learn how to deal with it soon.

    I completely understand how stress can effect your relationships. I was in a very stressful job and miserable all the time. We were constantly bickering, but we got through it.

    We all have hard times when it comes to weight loss. I think we all just want healthy eating to be second nature without tracking. I can maintain without tracking but I haven't learned to lose without it.

    Hang in there!

  4. I need to start tracking my food. It definitely helps to see just where all the calories are coming from.

  5. Sounds to me like you know exactly what you're doing-I probably should track the food I eat...but I'm a little too scared to! I'm a chocoholic-literally.

    And I think only gaining .4lbs after a stressful week of no gym and not watching what you eat is positive-I could've gained 20lbs!

    Keep up the good work :)

  6. Well, I'm MOTIVATED after this post! I do think you're being hard on yourself, losing weight is HARD! It's not easy to watch what you eat plus exercise 24x7, it's a lot of work and LIFE seems to get in the way. Just take a deep breath and it sounds like you already have some awesome goals for this week. You're beautiful, keep up the GOOD WORK! Oh and Kaylin has been a little monster this week also, it's gotta be something in the water or else I'm in trouble!

  7. Yeah, it sucks to gain, but it's great that your gain was so tiny. I have had a few LARGE gains lately, and that's why I've had to reevaluate my diet a bit.

    I think that you are doing GREAT!

  8. As in life, there are ups and downs. You gained very little weight and you can see where you can improve. Dont be discouraged. Follow your plan. Sometimes it takes a little longer than you want but it will work out in the end.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...