★Day 02- How was your first experience drinking alcohol?
Well, I was a wicked late bloomer in comparison to most kids I knew. But being a Navy brat with a career military father -- coming home with a hint of booze on my breath was like signing a suicide note! But then my parents divorced when I was 17 and I never saw my Dad again -- something I STILL have a hard time wrapping my head around. And while my Mom was strict -- it was really my Father who ran the show and kept us all on our toes.
I remained a *good kid* all through high school and then I went away to college -- an hour away from home!
I ended up switching roommates about midway through the first semester (long ass story as to why) and my new roomie, Shelley, was a bonafide *party girl* with a frat boy BF. In other words -- she was my way into the party scene; which I had been secretly DYING to partake in. I was such a goodie-two-shoe up until meeting Shelley. Not that I blame her in any way -- I all but begged her to teach me to be *bad* -- and I learned reallllll fast. (Another long ass story for another time)
So we are about to head to my first FRAT party and I am so psyched. So Shelley gets the bright idea to get a little primed before the party. So we head to the local liquor store (the package store as they are called down South), pull a "Hey Buddy can ya buy us some booze" in the parking lot, get a pint of cheap vodka, and procede to a convenience store to get some OJ. We mix a couple of MEGA drinks, dividing the vodka in half in a Big Gulp container, and head over to the Frat house and sip our drinks in the parking lot while listening to music.
All I kept thinking was, "I don't feel anything?"
Until I was about midway through the mega-drink and Shelley told me turn around and look at someone out the back window of her car. That simple movement of my head put it all into perspective. I was TRASHED and it hit me instantly and like a ton of bricks. I went from conversing, singing, and laughing to slurring my words and talking nonsense -- as I was told the next morning.
The events of that evening truly were a blur.
I know I missed the party and Shelley spent most of the night babysitting my drunk-ass.
I know I lost my class ring which my Mom paid a small fortune for and I have ALWAYS felt really bad about that.
I know I met my first college boyfriend that night and did things with him that a nice girl doesn't do on the first date!
And I know most of this was told to me the next morning when I wanted to die because I was SO hungover and swore I would never drink again if I could just feel better.
I wish I could say it detoured me from the party scene -- but ultimately it truly fueled the fire -- and was the beginning of many, many, MANY wild nights in my life.
I was dating a frat boy at this point and there was a party every single night in the fraternity world!
I no longer drink hard liquor; barely drink at all truth be told. And vodka is one of those things that the mere thought of it makes me cringe. It never brought me ANYTHING but chaos...
Alcohol in general became such a way to escape and I was the classic functioning alcoholic for quite some time. It is a sore subject for me but something I am coming to terms with and feel I need to address more.
So writing about this is a healing thing for me.
To be so REAL and honest about it instead of pretending like that part of my life never existed makes me able to process it all even more and that is never a bad thing.